I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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