How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
