Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
So. Much. Porn.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
