the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize