small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
