is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
