Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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