Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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