My hair reeks of homosexuality.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
