dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize