my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize