i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
