we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
