I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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