just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
