Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
