i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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