I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
