I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
