You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
