It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize