Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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