I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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