I'm jealous of your bromance
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
