you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
