She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
