A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Randomize
