I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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