Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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