do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
