I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
