I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
