I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
