i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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