I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
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so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
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Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.