I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
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At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
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Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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