could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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