I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
