We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
