Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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