i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
