It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
