I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
