in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
