I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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