I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
