I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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