He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
