Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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