do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
