I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
