and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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