You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
