Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
