4 words: hood of his car
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
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