But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
