12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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